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Personal blog of Erlend AakreWelcome to my blog containing sporadic personal ramblings, coding, electronics, D&D and anything else.
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The Mexican Christmas gift standoff
I hate Christmas presents.
When I was young, Christmas presents where the best, but now as I’m older (and slightly bitter) the whole concept strikes me as flawed.
MAG – “mutual assured gifting”
By receiving a gift, the rules of society dictates that you must return the gesture with a gift of your own, so if a person gives you something, you are pretty much forced to give something back or feel bad about it.
Mexican Standoff
If you give someone a gift one year, you HAVE to give them a gift next year (or else they will wonder why you suddenly stopped giving gifts), this combined with the principle from the point above causes a Mexican standoff in which neither parties can stop giving gifts (unless both agrees on it, however, bringing up “I don’t want to give you a gift this year” might be considered awkward for some people).
Net Value
By the same social mechanism as mentioned in the first point, you will feel bad if you give someone a cheap or bad gift, if they give you something expensive or good. This means that to avoid causing yourself or other people stress and feelings of guilt, the gifts exchanged must be of approximately equal value. For gifting to work optimally you will need to agree upon in advance a price for the gift, to avoid over- or under-gifting.
Keeping track
My memory is very selective, which means I can remember all ~700 Star Trek episodes but none of the gifts I gave or received last Christmas, so in order to maintain the delicate balance of gift values I would have to keep track of all the gifts given and received for every year.
The gift itself
When you were young any 10$ brightly colored plastic toy was great and all gifts were welcomed.. But then what happened? The toys stopped coming, instead boring crap like socks, boxers, deodorant, picture frames, ties, shirts, etc..? I actually have the ability to go to the store and get myself a pair of socks if need be. The worst of all is the knick knacks, ornaments and other objects with no function, they rarely fit your taste and only makes you go “wtf, if this person thinks I’ll love these brass statues of exotic seabirds, that person hardly know me well enough to justify giving a gift in the first place”.
Surprise gifters!
This is the absolute worst, some ninny you haven’t seen in a year just popping up at the door with a gift and a big smile. WTF? Why is this person you haven’t seen or talked to in ages standing in your doorway like a complete muppet? You had no idea this bastard was going to give you a gift, so obviously you have nothing for him/her. So what do you do? you just pretend you haven’t gotten or wrapped that persons gift yet and that you will deliver it later, followed by an agonizing trip to the city to desperately find some last minute gift in the worst Christmas rush imaginable. That’s a nice stressful way to spend the holiday.
The generic gift
If you don’t want to add to your health problems with the stress of getting a gift for the surprise gifter mentioned above, you’ve probably got one or two generic gifts on standby out of sight of the front door. This gift is wrapped up and ready to go in the 3 seconds it takes you to write down the name of the schmuck in your hallway. The gift itself is so generic you could give it to anyone. Usually it’s something totally lame like a box of chocolate, flowers or Christmas ornaments.
The solution
Since you probably don’t have a clue what that person wants or needs, you might as well just give the person some cash (don’t buy a goddamn gift card forcing the person to shop at a particular place), and if you want to adhere to the “Net value” principle above, you should both give the exact same amount (unless you want to account for difference in net income). Exchanging equal sums of money can be simplified into doing nothing, which in the end results in the best Christmas gift one can give: “a little bit of peace and quiet”.
Well, now that I’m done ranting about the horrors of Christmas gifts I can go to bed.. After all I have to wake up early tomorrow and complete MY gift shopping, I’m down to only two people I have to buy a gifts for, so feel free to envy me (preferably around noon tomorrow, it will keep me warm while I’m going to the store).
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Swedish police sketch
Wow, I just saw this in the paper, apparently the Swedish police uses paint to catch killers.-
This picture looks like something made by Ivo Caprino (famous Norwegian puppeteer).
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Stargate universe SUCKS
I’m a HUGE Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis fan, so I was sooo excited when SGU started.
However I was not really blown away by the start, but I decided to hang in there because many shows start slow. Now I’ve just seen episode 10, and I must say, this show SUCKS.. It’s like they tried to copy Battlestar Galactica + Lost + Grey’s Anatomy. SGU is not a science fiction show, it’s basically Grey’s Anatomy or Desperate Housewives in a dark studio with the occasional boring trip trough a stargate to a lifeless world where they do nothing at all.
I was hoping the show would get better, but it’s just getting worse by every episode (except for episode 8 which reminded me a little bit about science fiction).
I will be very surprised if this huge pile of crap gets renewed for a second season.
Not that I any problems with people making drama shows, what I do have a problem with is that they have taken a great sci-fi franchise that’s built on awesome humor, great epic stories and camaraderie and turned it into a bad drama show, which they tricked me into watching :p
Anyway I think I’ve watched my last episode of this crap, I gave it a fair chance but I’d rather watch SG-1 or Atlantis again.
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We are a way for the universe to know itself
2009-11-06I’ve been watching lots of Babylon 5 lately, and just realized that a recurring part of Minbari philosophy could be seen as an homage to one of my greatest idols, Carl Sagan. And seeing it’s almost November 9th, which would have been his 75th birthday, I think a post is in order.
The Minbari in Babylon 5 believes all life are manifested as a way for the universe to examine every piece of itself. This reminds me of two quotes from Carl:
“We are a way for the universe to know itself”
“We are made of star stuff”
And why not throw in a few more great quotes (Carl is just so damned quoteable) :)
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.”
“Humans — who enslave, castrate, experiment on, and fillet other animals — have had an understandable penchant for pretending animals do not feel pain. A sharp distinction between humans and ‘animals’ is essential if we are to bend them to our will, make them work for us, wear them, eat them — without any disquieting tinges of guilt or regret”
“We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it’s forever. “
“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”
“The major religions on the Earth contradict each other left and right. You can’t all be correct”
“For the first time, we have the power to decide the fate of our planet and ourselves. This is a time of great danger, but our species is young, and curious, and brave. It shows much promise.”
“We wish to pursue the truth no matter where it leads. But to find the truth, we need imagination and skepticism both.”
“I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking.”
“In the vastness of the Cosmos there must be other civilizations far older and more advanced than ours.”
“I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudo-science and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive”
“Credulity kills”
the Carl Sagan Memorial Station on Mars (from Star Trek Enterprise)
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Too cold.. Time to move
Norway sucks, It’s way to cold and it’s only practical to drive a motorcycle for 6 months of the year :(
I therefore propose this plan to move Norway to a better location, I might seem like lots of work, but if everyone pitch in I’m sure we could move it before next summer.
Suggestion 1
By using some leftover parts of Finnmark, we could fit perfectly as Portugal’s new neighbor, and the Bay of Biscay would make an excellent lake. This option is also the easiest since we don’t have to move Norway very far.
Suggestion 2
Putting Norway just outside California might be a good location, and a bridge between Trondheim and Los Angeles would make for a nice 4 hour car trip.
But we would have to move Norway around Cape Horn, so it would be a lot more work than moving to Portugal.. But it would probably be worth it.
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Engrish from focalprice
There’s a Hong Kong based company that sells lots of cheap stuff (free shipping), I recently ordered something awesome there (picture will be posted when I get the item).
I however noticed some rather comical translations / bizarre statements on many of the item descriptions :)
- “Provide ultra comfortable touch feeling for your grapping” -Ipod cover
- “The USB wire is long enough for you” -Keyboard
- “It is comfortable to use and it is hard for you to feel tired” -Same Keyboard
- “.. makes it resistant to dirty” -Other Keyboard
- “It is convenient for you to write some secret to friends and send them out into the black light to embarrass yourself” -Invisible ink pen
- “Internet & multimedia make you feel more comfortable” -Yet anohter Keyboard
- “No need to be afrad of falling people down” -Wii wireless bar
- “Power to the music with a car charger adapter…” - Ninteno DS car charger
- “The change of LED color will be subject to the temperature of water, which is more modern and humanistic“ –Shower Head
- “It can remind you when there is a call coming and avoid much trouble” -Key chain phone sensor
- “Suitable for home maintenance, outdoor activities, hiking, map reading, night fishing, night flying, camping, sailing, caving, hunting, etc.” -Tiny key chain led flashlight
- “No need to drive” -Webcam
- “Fantastic gift for your female friends” -Comb
- “Completely inoffensive to men and pets” -Mosquito repellent
- “These professional scissors cut straight and accurately in no time with just the press of a button” – Scissors
- “Chip-wide design, not more secure smooth hand injury” -Motherboard POST card
- “Simply insert a photo into the slot on the top and be a plump lady at once” -Wonder Woman photo holder
- Arcturus - Hufsa English Translation
- Wolves of Welton extended (maps)
- Simple Sitemap on Github pages
- Old Man's Child English Translation
- Mere of Dead men map (Forgotten Realms)
- Leilon map (Forgotten Realms)
- Conyberry map (Forgotten Realms)
- D-Link DCH-Z510 Siren with Smartthings
- New blog, jekyll and github
- Fedcon 2011 - Day 3